What's a Poor Girl Gonna Do? An Evening By, and For, Amanda King: 2010

In October of this year, I have been invited to perform during the 2010 New York Cabaret Convention as presented by the Mabel Mercer Foundation. On the evening’s bill will be Andrea Marcovicci, Marilyn Maye, Barbara Carroll, myself, and a host of other wonderful singers. The following evening, I am slated to make my debut at the Metropolitan Room. These are the two best opportunities yet that I have received as a performer and will help me begin to make a name for myself on a larger scale. Which, if it is indeed my goal to turn my passion for singing into my career (and it IS!), then I must seize this opportunity!

As many of you know, the past three years have been a time of construction for me: Deconstruction and Reconstruction. Helping me get through it all were the many singing opportunities that came my way so wonderfully over the past three years like, New Conservatory Theatre Centre, The Empire Plush Room, The Fillmore Jazz Festival, the Indianapolis Jazz Festival, gigs at Jazz at Pearl’s, performing in Palm Desert with the Desert Cities Jazz Band, and the many fabulous “guest” appearances in shows at the Rrazz Room.

It was having performances during my most turbulent times that made me know that beyond a shadow of a doubt, singing/performing/entertaining is in my blood and it heals and helps me to continue, no matter what.

I performed at a gala for Raphael House a few months ago and was honored to be asked to speak about my experience as a resident. I feel that speech helps to tell my story.

Here it is:

“Self-sufficiency wasn’t my middle name. Though I was raised within a family highly self-sufficient successful women - I never thought about the need to have my bases covered. I thought success would come easy. I married young, had good jobs, and when I didn’t I wasn’t worried because my husband did and his salary covered both of us (though we couldn’t eat out as much). I highly doubt most married middle class women think about ending up in a shelter with their child, but I’m wagering it happens more than most think.

In 2007 my husband and I separated after 10 years of marriage...a few months later I lost my job. It being a contentious divorce no support was coming from my husband at that time even though we shared custody of our 2 year old son.

In mid-2008, barely surviving on temp job pay and late with rent all the time, I was evicted from the apartment I’d lived in for the previous 5 years. I had no savings and no back up plan. I didn’t have money for a deposit on another place and moving back home to Indiana wasn’t possible without a large custody battle. I couldn’t qualify for rental assistance b/c I made too much money but it wasn’t enough money to pay all my bills.

I found myself in that gray area that I call “upper poverty” – destitute for the lifestyle I was living but not destitute enough to qualify for public programs.

So with only two weeks left before I had to be out of my apartment - I went back to the agency I had tried previously – at my wit’s end. Still unable to help me due to funding qualifications they suggested, as a long shot, that I try Raphael House. They also mentioned it was the “nicest shelter in the City but very particular”.

A SHELTER???!!! OMG! Life just stopped. My thoughts raced to all the scenes of homeless shelters that I’d seen in movies. ACK! In my head I began chanting over and over – “I can’t do this”, “I can’t do this”, “this is too much”, “I can’t do this to Duncan”.

But I called Raphael House and made an appointment. And though I was an atypical “resident” - only had Duncan 50% of the time and night-time singing gigs - they extended their arms and took me in.

Raphael House extended a helping hand to my son and I when we most needed it. I walked in thinking I just needed a place to stay while I got on my feet, not realizing that I needed to grow new legs b/c mine had been cut off. My mother refers to my time in RH as “financial rehab”. It was that, and more… the people I met and my experience of being there changed my life, and view of life, fundamentally. I thought the other mothers there extraordinary for dealing with, and overcoming, the challenges they faced. My situation felt silly compared to theirs…but we all learned from each other and grew.

There’s a great book called: Stopping – How to Keep Still When you Have to Keep Going.

RH was my “Stop”. It enabled me to think about my life objectively and create new goals. At first I thought the schedule a bit grueling and awfully hard-line, but it was great not to have to think about everything all at once – all the time. Raphael House gave me time to think and plan – rethink and plan.

When I left, I was on my own for the first time in over 10 years. Scared but strong, with a clear sense of purpose and priority.

RH helped me begin to TRULY appreciate & understand the power of “baby steps”.

And…best of all, thanks to their chores, I learned how to disinfect and clean a bathroom top to bottom in 10 minutes flat.

Because Raphael House was there for me and Duncan, and continues to be through all their MAGNIFICENT programs, I am here tonight. I will continue to do whatever I can to help Raphael House thrive…so that it can do the same for other women like me.

Thank you from the very essence of my being.”

People ask me why I am having a fundraiser? Because I want to give myself the best chance of success and seize this opportunity I have in New York. To know that I went for something with 100% of my being and laid it all on the line. That I exhausted every option, climbed every mountain, followed every rainbow, and looked under every rock.

Please join me August 30th for a wonderful evening of music, friends, and fun!

What's a Poor Girl Gonna Do? An Evening By, and For, Amanda King

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

DONATIONS & FABULOUS PRIZES

Why a Fundraiser?